Mummy Mindset coach

Wednesday, 23 October 2019

Advice to my younger self

When you’ve been on a journey of self-discovery, it’s important to look back at how far you’ve come. Loving yourself isn’t easy, and as women it just doesn’t come naturally to most of us. The media play a big part in making us question our worth based on how we look, making us compare ourselves to other women every day and never feeling like we’ll be good enough. Now more than ever, it's become so much more important to be aware of how we're teaching our kids to feel about themselves. So I wanted to reflect on my journey and think about what I would advise my younger self based on what I know now.
There is no one else like you

 In high school I was a grade-A student and a grade-A people pleaser. I was terrified of people in school not liking me, especially boys. I wanted girls to think I was nice, I wanted boys to think I was pretty. And that seemed like the most important part of my whole experience, that everyone liked me. I would tell my younger self that you are the only person in the world like you, and you should never be ashamed to be yourself. Everyone has quirks, everyone has strengths and weaknesses and this is what sets us apart. When you get older you will find what your strengths are and it will become your superpower. You are smart, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.  You will go on to get a degree, you will work hard and your strength will lie in helping others.
Look after your skin
I didn’t start having a proper skincare routine until I was about 24. When I was a teenager it was a weekly occurrence to fall asleep spooning a pizza with a full face of makeup after a night out and it didn’t faze me. The extent of my routine was taking off my makeup with a face wipe and maybe some moisturiser. I was lucky enough to not suffer from bad skin as a teenager, but now I know the importance of a thorough skincare routine I would advise my younger self to start looking after it as soon as possible because, you’ll thank me later. Oh and stop putting tanning oil on your face yeah? Or you'll look 50 when you're 30.

Don’t be so hard on your mum

 My mum is Wonder Woman. She was a housewife and raised 7 kids and kept an impeccable home and always had dinner on the table on time. But unsurprisingly there were times when she got stressed, and would shut herself away or lose her temper with us. And at the time I thought she was crazy and would be stubborn and constantly wanted to rebel against what she wanted me to do. Now I have my own home and I’m a mum myself, I would tell my younger self to give your mum a break. When you become an adult with responsibilities, with bills to pay and a house to keep clean you realise how hard it is and I can’t even imagine doing all of that with 7 kids to raise when I can barely stay sane raising one. Mum always had my best interests at heart and wanted to protect us. She’s now my best friend and the first person I go to for advice. Your mum is always right. Listen to her, he’s no good for you and your face really is too orange.
Explore as many options as possible

I went to Uni after school to do a History degree, because I loved History. And I loved doing my degree and would never regret it. But I don’t think kids are really encouraged to explore as many options as possible before making their decision. I was asked what I was good at and what subject I enjoyed most and that was the extent of it really, no discussions about what job opportunities it could offer me. It was no surprise that I finished Uni and went straight into a minimum wage job for 2 years that I hated and my degree meant nothing. My advice to my younger self would be to do as much exploring as you can. Explore yourself and what you’re good at, what you have to offer the world, try every hobby and find something you love. If I would have done this as a teenager, maybe I would have discovered my love of fitness sooner. Find your voice and speak it loud, find what you like and try new things. Don’t put yourself under pressure to know what you want to do with your life, no one knows how their life will plan out. I still don't at 28, but I'm getting closer. Get to know yourself and what you want and always dream big because you really can do anything you dream of if you work hard for it.

Always be kind to others- including yourself

'In a world where you can be anything, be kind.' The younger generation are under so much pressure now to look a certain way, to aspire to be a certain way and compare themselves to what they see on social media. Growing up in this type of environment, with the focus on the way we look, how much money we have and how 'perfect' our life is creates a society full of self-doubt, jealousy and always wanting what we don't have. I would tell my younger self that if you're going to aspire to be anything, aspire to be kind. No matter what you look like, or how much money you earn, if you are kind to everyone around you, including yourself every day, then you will live a life that you can be proud of.


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