Mummy Mindset coach

Sunday, 25 August 2019

How to stop comparing yourself to others



In the world of Instagram and washboard abs on a beach in Bali, it’s becoming increasingly difficult not to compare ourselves to others and this is having a detrimental effect on our self-esteem. As a mum, it’s easy to get caught up in the comparison game of not feeling good enough because we’re constantly bombarded with images of ‘the bounce-back mum’ ‘the creative mum’ ‘the got-her-shit-together mum.’

 However, the more time you spend focusing on the achievement of others, the less time you spend on achieving your own goals as a woman. Low self-esteem through comparing ourselves to others can affect our relationships, our careers and how we feel about ourselves. So how do we scroll through Instagram without wanting to throw our phones out the window every time we see another post of Sarah from mum club’s pristine kitchen?

Accepting your differences

 Accept that there will always be someone out there who is better than you at something. But also acknowledge that you are better than somebody else at something too. The Instagram mum might make of all her meals from scratch but you can make your kids belly laugh like nobody else. Write down your strengths. Instead of picking at other people’s talents focus on your own and work on getting even better and expanding your skillset whether it’s in your career or at home with your family. Your only competition is yourself. Allow yourself to acknowledge how great you are and focus on becoming a better person than you were yesterday.


Celebrating your achievements

  Look back every week and keep a journal of everything that you have achieved. It could be as simple as nailing a naptime workout or meeting a deadline at work. Over the year you can keep track and look back at how much you’ve achieved. You’ll be surprised at how far you’ve come which will only motivate you to focus on your own goals and keep pushing forward. I was gifted this notebook when I first had Jacob and it was a really useful tool to document those first months as a new mum and note down my small wins https://agreatread.co.uk/the-new-mums-notebook-9781786331168/?setCurrencyId=1&msclkid=8894a5699d71125d1954f80da0959b3e.

Channelling positive thinking

 Comparison can actually be used in a positive way. Don’t think of it as comparing yourself to others. Think of it as inspiration. What does that person have that you envy? Can this be something that you can incorporate into your daily routine? If you’re always liking pictures of interior design accounts it could be because you wish you had more time to clean your own home. You could start by writing 3 things on your to-do list and do 3 small cleaning jobs a day to feel more productive and happier at home.


Unfollow

If certain accounts fill you with dread and make you hate yourself every time you see them then carry out a social media cull. When you have 10 minutes, unfollow 10 accounts a day that don’t make you feel good about yourself, provide useful content or make you feel inspired. If you’re going to follow anyone on Instagram I recommend following Lucy Sheridan (@lucysheridan) who is a comparison coach and her content is really interesting and uplifting to read.
 
What do you compare yourself to as a mum?  Leave your comments below!



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